Tuesday, 4 November 2014

Here we go again...

So, today, 29th October 2014 is my son, James's 15th birthday.  But, instead of getting up early and waiting for him to get up out of his teenage stupor some time mid morning, my husband and I will be leaving home at 8.20 to get to University Hospital Coventry and Warwickshire (UHCW) for a 9am appointment.  Its a 9am appointment in the Arden Centre, the amazing chemotherapy suite at UHCW.  I cant quite believe that we are going back there - again. 
Its my third time into the world of chemotherapy and all the crap that comes with it.  I was first diagnosed in Oct 2008 and after a mastectomy and reconstruction I had 6 months of chemotherapy. I had 4 rounds of FEC and then 4 rounds of Taxatere.  From what I remember FEC made me feel incredibly sick and tired, but Taxatere made me feel about 95 - and tearful. That was followed by 5 solid weeks of radiotherapy, which I didn't think was too bad, I seemed to come away form that pretty unscathed. I then very happily was in remission for 2.5 years, and was happily ticking off the months. .  Then in March 2012, after complaining of shoulder pain, I was told that the cancer was back, and this time it meant business.  It had metastisised in my lungs, a lymph node in my neck and also one in my shoulder.  This was incredible bad news - the day before my 41st birthday I was told that my "situation could be managed for 2 years" at first I thought that meant 2 solid years of treatment, but the penny finally dropped. But, lady luck was on my side, with 12 rounds of Gem-Carb and something not short of a miracle a scan in January 2013 showed NED - no evidence of disease.  Im not sure how that happened, but I'll take that. I will take my life back with both hands a run with t thanks.  so that's what I did.  Shaun and I celebrated our 20th Wedding anniversary in May and life was good, we were making plans.
But then, in August this year, I didn't feel right, I cant put my finger on how I felt, but I knew I wasn't right.  So I called my wonderful nurse who got me an appointment with my Onc and the rest they say  - again, is history.  After a bone scan, a CT scan and a PET scan it was confirmed that the bloody cancer is back. In two places, not one, but two. Yippy-f'ing -do, my hat-trick of cancer diagnosis.
So in a nutshell, that's my story so far, jampacked and full of fun!!
Im hoping this blog will help those also affected by this shit disease - and maybe also me.  Its hard to sometimes say how you feel, some one asks how you are and the default is generally "yeah, Im ok".   Im fully aware of the worry I cause those close to me - why add to it? what good would it do any one? Would it help?  Who knows - who knows what is right and what is wrong. Indeed, what is right for one could be totally wrong for another.  As if life isn't hard enough without all this crap added in!  So over the next few months I will be here sharing my latest instalment, my thoughts, my fears, my hopes and dreams (I will try not to share too many constipation or sickness stories!) - and if it helps just one person that's great, if not, at least its kept me occupied.

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