Thursday, 28 May 2015

Thats it -chemo is done!

What better day than today to update the blog? Today I had my 16th dose of chemo since starting this third lot on Oct 29th.  It been quite intense and has most definitely become harder as the time has gone on, but its done now. Thanks goodness. To be honest though, today is the easy bit of any chemo cycle, I had great company with me again, in the form of my great friend Emma Brown.  We had a great time nattering away, we actually didn't even notice the nurse coming along and starting the chemo off!!!  The day stated off great with Emma turning up at mine with a new tshirt for me to wear, declaring my a "chemo grad" so I proudly wore it all day.   I asked her if we could stop at Tesco on the way to the hospital as I wanted to get some cakes to take to the nurses, but she shocked me by already having an amazing cake made by JJS Cakes for the nurses, so we took it in and they were overjoyed by the gesture and even more so once they tasted the cake!!
So chemo is done, what next?  Well tomorrow I am having a visit form an old school friend ive not seen for a year or two, so that will be great, then tomorrow night we have James football presentation and hopefully over the weekend a visit form my cousin, who will help Shaun lay some new decking in the garden.  Then we have the FA cup, my team Aston Villa against James' team Arsenal.  To be honest I think the cup will be going back to London, I just hope the Villians put up a good fight.
Then Sunday, the fun begins, when I say fun, I suppose I really mean shit! I probably wont even have the energy to get out of bed on Sunday, my mouth with start to feel all slimy inside, my appetite will go, I will feel sick and repulsed at any foody smells that come up the stairs, but I think worst of all I become very intolerant of people!  its really quite horrible, I just want to be in my own bubble and left alone.  That includes my wonderful family, I just cant bare form them to see me in such a rubbish way and just don't like being bothered.  it just takes so much effort to answer questions, even if they are just asking how I am or if I want a drink, its just so much effort to reply, which is just horrible. This will go on until probably about Friday.  Monday and Tuesday will feel worse, my appetite will be non existent and even knowing what to drink is a struggle as my stomach feels so sensitive.  So all I can say now, is roll on next Saturday when hopefully I will start picking up and then I can get on with the rest of my life.
So, how do I feel about the rest of my life? Honestly? I cant bloody wait to get back to normal again, to get back to work, to get running again, to be bale to walk my lovely dog , every thing chemo has robbed me of.  But all for a good reason, the chemo has worked and is giving me the opportunity to keep living. so that's what I will do, but with more vigour, enthusiasm and zest than ever before. But I will always be doing it whilst glancing over my shoulder.  My medical team have left me in no doubt that the cancer will return, it just a matter of when, so I have to be extra vigilant and be checking my body all the time for new lumps or bumps and aches and pains.  So as much as we want life to carry on as normal, there will always be that niggle that cancer could be rearing its ugly head.  But I am sure that will my vigilance and the superb team I have behind me at the hospital and the good reaction to chemo I seem to have we will beat the bastard again.  Though secretly I am hoping that at 3-0 to me the little bugger may just take the hint and not bother coming back. fingers crossed on that one!!
So onto cheerier news, I mentioned at the end of my last blog that I was a finalist in the Rugby FM pride of Rugby awards and im very pleased to say that I won the "Citizen of the Year "award.  What an amazingly proud moment, and all of the family were there too, which was great.  So now I have to think of something - a fundraising event that I can do to commemorate the award.  Any suggestions gratefully received.
Well that's me knackered for the night, I will be back, once im over the hibernation period next week.
I would appreciate any feedback you could give me about this blog - is it ok? is it boring? does it help you understand chemo more? is there anything also you think I could pass on?  Please let me know.

Good health and happiness to you all.


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