Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Its been a while.....but, by golly we've been feeling the Love!!

Im back, its been a while that's for sure.  This blog was supposed to be a weekly update - I didn't expect to fail quite so spectacularly quite so quickly!  But, I have and for a couple of reasons.  Firstly, ive been too busy having fun with my nearest and dearest and then secondly I succumbed to a sickness bug, projectile vomming at its very best!
So, the best bits first, since my last entry - boy, have we had some fun.  first of all was my works do, now ive not mentioned work too much yet, I work for a charity, a great charity, a charity that spends 365 days a year saving peoples lives and keeping families together.  I work for the Air Ambulance Service, we operate 2 helicopter emergency services (the type that turn up to road accidents, sports injuries, medical emergencies) and one Childrens Air Ambulance - dedicated to the fast and safe transfer of seriously sick children to the best dedicated hospital to treat their condition.  The many people who work within the charity are all ace and many of whom are very good friends. But, it makes me immensely proud to know that when I go to work, the work that I do, goes a little way to playing a part in saving lives. Im the office Services Co-ordinator, once when Prof Poole asked me to remind him what I did, for ease I told him that I was an office manager, concerned, he asked how many people I managed, and whether it was stressful, I assured him that it was fine, I don't manage people, just the facilities. Then not long after he was explaining my case to one of his registrars when he said, and I quote "she is an Office manager, but after investigation I am happy to report that she doesn't manage any people, luckily I think she is just in charge of counting paperclips!"  In my defence, we do have a very large amount of paperclips, donated by a company that was shutting down, so it is a big job!  So anyway, Christmas party, my responsibility to organise, a responsibility I think that is under estimated by so many, its the one night of the year when most of us can get together, so its got to be good.  I think I pulled it off - I had a good night anyway - and there was not a paperclip in sight!   The following night was Shaun's works do, talk about one extreme to another, obviously working for a charity, when organising anything, the first thing to consider is budget, and we keep that tight, always.  Shaun works for Mercedes - Benz HPP, the guys who make the engines for 4 F1 teams, where money can seemingly appear to be no object.  A Christmas party for 2000, attended by Lewis Hamilton, Nico Rosberg, Nicki Lauder, Paddy Lowe the list goes on.  The entertainment amongst others was a live set by the Kaiser chiefs!  Again, a great (but late night was had by all!) But, the next day, I was broken, 2 late nights for me at the grand old age of 43 is enough anyway, but on chemo, well maybe 2am at the Mercedes do was just too late!  So 2 days on the sofa ensued.
Then it was back for chemo on Wednesday, all went well again.  todays buddy was Debbie, a friend of mine for oooh, 25 years.  She and Shaun go back even further they went all through school together, she is a great mate to have on board.  Silly as it sounds, it was great to have some "quality time" just to sit down and chat. So that's what we did, and we had a lovely time too!
Then onto the good times again, Lucy and I had managed to score tickets to the BBC radio awards at earls Court, what a night, what music.  We stayed in a hotel in Earls Court so I didn't have to worry about travelling home late at night. Friday morning we had a quick trip into Harrods and then home ion the train.  At Rugby station we met Shaun and my Cousin and his wife and got back on the train to Birmingham to the German Market, what a great place, a few beers were drank (not by me) and a good meal was eaten before returning home.
Then, then I woke up on Saturday feeling like I had been hit by 20 double decker buses, the projectile vomiting and rear end activity swiftly was upon me and that was my weekend.  For the first tome since chemo I had to have extra days off work, I just couldn't risk going in and being at risk of catching others germs.  I suppose though, after all my gallivanting of the last 10 days and the amount of people I had been in contact with something was inevitable.  But, you cant stop living can you? On the contrary, there's nothing like a cancer diagnosis or three to make you realise that you only get one go at life, its there for the bloody taking, you have to live it to the full or what's the point???
Since my last post, we have also had our most humbling experience.  On 4th December it was the 6th anniversary of my mastectomy and reconstruction.  I am a Facebook user, but had not really put anything this time round about my latest diagnosis, but on this day, I decided it was a good opportunity to thank our friends for their support.  So I updated my status, just to mark the anniversary and to thank friends for 6 years of support.  I was not expecting what happened next.....that post received over 70 comments of love and support and offers of help.  We were completely blown away, especially in a time where the news is all doom and gloom, to know that all of these people thought enough of us to take time out of their day to post us a message of support is just the most humbling thing ever.  I've taken screen grabs of all of the messages to print out.  I think, when we have our down days, and we do, they will be a great source of positivity and energy to pull us through.
I often wonder if people realise the positive impact they can have on people in my situation with a simple text or phone call? I have had a few people say to me recently, "oh I never know whether to text or call as I don't know how you are feeling" - well, my answer, always, is "you wont find out how I am until you try",  text me, if im feeling good, I will text back, if Im feeling  crap I will text you back when I feel good. The same if you call.  But what I can guarantee you is - if you do text, or you do call That will lift my spirits 100% whether im feeling good or bad. A bit like the Scream-o-meter on Monsters Inc I suppose.  Its a feel good  factor thing.  On a chemo day I can get up to 15 texts through the day, from my sister, my friends, my in-laws, my cousins, just letting me know that they are thinking of me and that they hope chemo goes well.  Those texts are worth the world to me.  Don't get me wrong, its not a popularity game or anything like that, its just nice to know that people care and people are thinking of me, just as I would return the gesture if god forbid anyone else is in this shit situation. We are all humans, no matter how tough we think we are, we still need the love of our nearest and dearest, we need to know they care, just as we care for them. After this week of watching the news, there definitely needs to be more caring in the world. Lets start that right now!  Well, maybe I will start in the morning, its 2am now, a typical chemo night of insomnia, but as my alarm is set for 6:30 I think I need to try to get some sleep. Its our department Christmas lunch tomorrow so I need to be up and bathed, hair washed and Christmas jumper on and I definitely don't want to fall asleep in my dinner!!!
Catch you all later dudes - enjoy the run up to Christmas, make the most of time with your families - its precious time that you will never get back. EVER.


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